Hi friends! It's BowserPuma.

This devlog is going to be very different from my other ones. For this, I want to talk about my late friend who I've made this novel in memory of. This post is a bit off-the-cuff, so forgive any grammatical errors or incoherent ramblings. If this kind of thing doesn't appeal to you, now's a good time to click off. No judgment from me.

Let's start at the beginning. I met Patrick Augustyn during the fall of 2013 when I first when I started college in Buffalo, NY. He was a staple of the local furry group I became acquainted with.

We called him Karcy because his original fursona was a dragon character named Karcenogen. He always wanted to shed that title after he transitioned to a border collie character, but old habits die hard. He would go on to make a border collie character named Shamus, then another one named Jaeger. The attached image is of Jaeger, the Bard, illustrated by Folly854.

If you ever met him, you'd know that upon first glance, it would seem like he has a very abrasive and rugged personality. He was very blunt and direct with the way he spoke. He was honest, sometimes brutally so. But under those layers lied a man with a goofy, kind, and tender soul. He always wanted to make his friends laugh and smile. He was a master when it came to deploying perfectly timed inside jokes that'd brighten anyone's day.

His kindness and generosity knew no bounds if you were precious to him. Some of my most special memories were when he helped me come out of my shell during fur meets and furry conventions. I can be quite timid, especially in large crowds. But he always found the best ways to include me in conversations to help me feel more comfortable. I was able to meet and chat with so many lovely people because he made an effort to include me. It meant the world.

Karcy passed away after a battle with COVID on May 18, 2021. At that time, this VN was very early in its development and I was in the character design phase. For those of you who don't know, the character Pat Shamus is a memorial character made to honor Karcy. 

One quick thing I want to mention is that Pat Shamus isn't my attempt to create a carbon copy of my late friend and make him into a character. Pat Shamus was purposefully designed to be a character I know Karcy would enjoy the most. I used the things he loved and was passionate about during his life as inspiration. For a deeper dive into my character design process for him, please read my character design reflection for Pat.

He also influenced many other choices I've made for this VN. For example, I chose the release date to be November 11 because that's his birthday. His guiding light also helped me create countless story beats when I've experienced writer's block.

I wrote a letter to him. I put it at the end of Build 1. Here's what I wrote.

Dear Karcy,

We did it. Build 1 is up and ready to go. This took an unbelievable amount of work. But during this whole process, your love, your humor, and your passion served as a guiding light that led and inspired me every step of the way.

I wish you could see what we've created. And maybe you can. I can't rightly say I know what happens to us after we pass.

It's wild to think how different this story would be if you were still here, though. There's no universe where you and this character would coexist.

You'll always hold a special place in my heart. I miss you terribly every day.

Rest peacefully, my dear friend. I love you with all my heart.

Happy Heavenly Birthday.

Love,

Puma

Grieving him has been really challenging. But I think channeling a lot of that grief into my writing and design for this VN has been very productive for me. There's been a few times I've received criticism for this choice, and that had me severely question my actions. However, I feel more confident than ever that I'm doing the right thing. I want to honor my friend, and I don't care who gets made uncomfortable by it.

Anyways, I'll stop here for now. He'd hate that I'm talking this much about him. If I ever see him in an afterlife, I know for a fact he'll tease me for an eternity for missing him so much.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading 💖.